The other week we presented our project to our class to get final feedback before the deadline. I wasn't really looking forward to this because I know I have a *lot* to do and I was worried that my animation in it's current scruffy state would be a little muddled and unclear.
I've had a thorough read of the feedback, and I'll sum it up below, and I'll add how I plan to rectify the negatives.
Good drawing / visual style
Characters are well designed with a sense of personality - their differences are put across in both their design and their movement.
Fitting music, brings out mystical side of animation.
Emotional story that is left open to interpretation (not necessarily a love story)
Some excellent shot framing
Dynamic and flows well
The scene where they interact with each other works well.
Not going to be able to finish in time / have a lot to do - This is my own fault, but I'm hoping to have it done to at least a presentable standard for the end of year show.
Should have dedicated less time to the intro so the rest of it would have been more completed. - True!
Sound effects? They'll help tell the story - I plan to add sound in, and I do have a version of the intro sequence with sound which I'll find for submission. Again, this is something I'd like to have for the year show rather than the deadline.
Isn't made clear what happens to the witch (she sort of disappears) - I'll maybe add a bit of extra narrative about her in the text section before they've grown older.
Maybe not clear how/why Photogen gets 'attacked' by darkness in the forest. - I think this will be made more clear when the art is fully drawn and it's more hallucinatory/nightmarish.
Not much conflict - I can't really do much about the story now as I've squeezed as much narrative into as short a timespace as I can. I'd love to do a longer version where I explore the conflict between the Witch and the kids more, but that will have to happen after deadline/year show.
Not clear that the hunter is Photogen, and also that the time had passed from when they were children - maybe due to the fact Nycteris looks too similar as a kid to when she's grown up. - Again, this will probably be clearer when it's fully drawn and in colour. As Photogen is bright orange, I think it'll be clear that the hunter is him!
Maybe establish the world/setting more at the beginning with some held / slowly panning shots. - I'd like to do this. I do think the setting of her cottage isn't really established.
Story possibly works without the childhood section / it's not necessary - I thought about this a lot, in the end I kept it in as a way to establish the fact that the witch wouldn't let Photogen see shadow or Nycteris see light. This would inform the audience of what they're like before they escape/meet each other. But maybe it wasn't necessary and I'm underestimating how much the audience would pick up on themselves!
Put a title screen at the beginning - The title screen comes after the introduction, so I'm a little confused by this comment.
The feedback from my tutors in regard to the submission was to aim to have one section fully polished, I'm hoping to have achieved this, even if it's not to the standard I'd like.